quarta-feira, 18 de agosto de 2010
I was a shy happy
I do not give a speech for you!
Is there anyone in the world so confident in himself so far as to say such a thing?
You know that I admire people who act autonomously, those who do not rely on anyone to do things?
People who have initiative, and despite what people may say or comment on their condition, they just happen!
Brave the extremes of attitude people are always one step ahead of us.
But the question is, where does so much confidence?
When I started working, was very inexperienced in many aspects, especially with regard to human relationships.
And when he had to talk to the boss, looking in your eyes, or simply talking to a co-worker, I felt all sorts of symptoms, from sweaty palms, shaking up widespread.
I remember a funny situation, I mean, today I simply hilarious, but at that time was a personal drama would not wish for anyone.
In a company, which had the great opportunity to work as a clerk, did not provide meal vouchers with which we could have lunch in a restaurant of our own choosing.
In the XXI century, they recommended to their employees, which would lead pan, and reheated in the kitchen next door, because there was a stove with two burners, and a tray where we could "enjoy the full regalia of the company," I am reproducing the words the director himself.
Comments aside, back to my personal drama of excessive timidity, at that time, my mother took pains in my lunchbox.
Put all variants of oriental cuisine, including canned fish, 'canned', was my greatest sorrow, my tormentor and informer.
I had wisely "armed" a scheme to escape from having to have lunch with the entire office staff (due to shyness).
Chose the last time, and kept rolling for everyone who opted for the same time, they finished first and rid the area for the "wild animal" to eat.
He claimed he needed to advance the work, and that was not very hungry.
The "scheme", worked for a long time, until one fine day, I was alone in the cafeteria, as he had asked the gods, only me, my lunchbox, and my stomach begging for something.
Hungry, I open that supposedly kill that which was killing me slowly, that is my own hunger.
When I opened the dictates of which, I realized that my mother had fancy, put it than those cooked with vegetables and meats, canned "Radish"!
It was the beginning of the end, all the directors who worked on the second floor, and all work colleagues were checking whether there was a leaking sewer pipe, which coinscidência passed the makeshift kitchen.
Imagine how traumatic it was for a boy, very shy to be caught eating a pot that smelled like rotten eggs and fart simultaneously sour, a disgrace!
Were totally paralyzed and terrified size stink, all staring at me as if I were a terrorist releasing gas sarim, innocently swallowing the food down at that moment, down our throats as if they were shards of glass (because I had become the epicenter).
For in that fateful moment, all focused on my "poor" and supposedly "rotten pot, and made funny comments, just to keep me boring.
Despite being shy, I realized that bothered many people, the girl in charge of local hygiene, colleagues and clerks worse, the board itself.
Needless to say that I was the main subject of the company for two weeks, between jokes and comments no thanks, I was afraid to take pot for a while, but eventually overcome.
The nice thing about this whole explosion of embarrassment, that I managed to overcome my shyness, at least eat lunch pail that company.
Time passed and I found a better job, where he received food stamps, and among other benefits.
In this new company I met a very special person, she gave me courage to face my own fears.
It was not pretty, but very friendly, was somewhat above its weight and did not care about the opinions and comments of others.
But what impressed me most in it, was his self confidence, did not care to ever work colleagues talking about their clothes, hair or shoes.
It was simply her way with his supreme, "not arrogant," know that way, 'I am more me' and 'I promise! "
I once commented to her that he admired his way, and asked how she could be so certain of themselves, even people making mockery of his way of dressing among others.
Realizing that I was shy she replied:
"- You know Paul, I feel that you are a very shy person, and I see that you really care what people think or speak to thee.
Learned in life that when we value the thoughts of the other evil, just dying inside.
Should we ignore this kind of hostilities, because they are incomplete and unhappy people, who live according to the problems of others, incapacity to resolve their own issues.
- Know what makes you be a perfect person?
Not your looks or your financial condition, to be perfect in this life is to do what you really like, this is freedom, that is an autonomous life.
I love my job and the hours you have time, go swimming, because I love her, she closed the dialog advising me to go swimming. "
Time passed and she got all the learning I never forget my first experience with radishes and dialogue that had with the fat lady, now a close friend (almost like a sister).
And as we grow physically, we develop our personalities, I am no longer the shy boy, who was embarrassed by his own shadow.
Some experiences have shown me that to deal with our shyness, you must have an intense social interaction with people and different cultures, isolation has only to aggravate this condition.
Living with other people, or a simple dialogue can have more awareness of who we are or what we can offer the world.
I decided to write this chronicle, as recently noticed many people dissatisfied with their own conditions, criticizing, analyzing and belittling the people around, not realizing at the same time, people who are lonely by choice!
"Criticizing the world for lack of courage to resolve their own fears and questions of life!"
I think I'll never forget this phrase.
Thank you for reading until the last paragraph.